People have been saying strange things to me ever since Leon and Michael were born. I think they see our family and they just feel compelled to say something. Unfortunately, Hallmark never made a card for the woman out shopping alone with four kids five and under, and so they aren't quite sure what to say. So, with great intentions, silly things slip out of their mouths. Recently a man said, "You really DON'T have your hands full!" when he meant, "How is that your children are sitting down quietly while all the other kids in this place are running around screaming like chickens with their heads cut off?" I didn't tell him that my kids were so grateful to be out of the house that they don't want to do anything to jeopardize it. Or that when we are out we concentrate all our efforts on keeping our kids under control which means there are some pretty odd items in the shopping cart, but at least security doesn't routinely have to escort us out of the store. (Emphasis on "routinely.")
In the last week, I've noticed people making odd comments to me even without the kids around. If a backhanded compliment is saying something that sounds nice but is actually nasty, these are the exact reverse. The speakers have such great intentions, but the words make me giggle and want to bash my head into a wall. Like the client who gushed, "You are the nicest auditor I ever met!" I smiled. It totally made my morning, but then I had to wonder, where exactly did that put me on the spectrum of niceness? Am I over there with Gandhi and Mother Teresa or am I closer to Satan and the IRS? I'm not sure I want an answer to that.
Another woman told me she loves the efficient meetings I run. I just don't like drawing things out unnecessarily. Talk about an issue, decide, and move on. Geez.
If this keeps up, I have to admit I am horribly afraid my tombstone will read, "She was an efficient auditor." Now there's a legacy.
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