However

In the first few weeks following Hurricane Florence, people outside of Wilmington often asked if things were back to normal. Despite the good intentions behind the question, I found it irritating, although I struggled to figure out why. As time went on, I became better at responding to the question and began to understand my own frustration. To the rest of the world, life had moved on, and there were other, hotter topics to cover in the news. However, even as we began to return to regular routines like going to work and school, they just weren't the same as before the hurricane.

Although I began going in to work shortly after we returned from our evacuation vacation, the university officially reopened to faculty and staff on October 1. October was an interesting month at work as everyone caught up with each other, we discovered just how many people lost their homes (three on my team of just under 60, which seems to be about average), and people attempted to juggle their regular work, catching up on work from a three week closure, and hurricane-related tasks. Many had worked obscenely long hours to clean up the campus, and it looked fantastic as we welcomed back students the following week. However, there were still plenty of reminders that we were in a construction zone, where countless buildings need significant repairs including full roof replacements and the main science building and the campus apartments are still unusable. Hurricane Michael also gave us a scare, and we were all given a sobering reminder of what a direct hit from a Category 4 storm (the forecast for Florence at the time the university closed) looked like, and for a short while the conversations became, "I hate to say we were lucky, but we were lucky!"

Utility trucks outside Kenan Auditorium in early October.

 

The kids also went back to school in October. Jewel's school follows the traditional calendar, and she was the first to go back. Our schools are overcrowded, and before the hurricane five of her eight classes were in trailers. However, the school lost the trailers in the storm, and she found her classes all temporarily relocated into spaces formerly used for electives like the art room, computer lab, etc. The girls spent one afternoon sorting out toys after they found out that one of Jewel's teachers lost not only her classroom, but her home, and the girls wanted to donate toys to the teacher's three children who are ages five to nine. Of course the girls didn't exactly sort out any prize possessions, but, hey, it's the thought that counts.

The three stooges went back a little over a week later due to the hurricane days going right into their scheduled fall break. They ended up being out of school for five weeks, their longest break since the summer between preschool and kindergarten. We had not heard anything about their classrooms, so the boys expected to go right back to their classroom, which had been in a trailer. However, on the first day back, they were told to pack their belongings, and they are now having class in the library and are learning how to work in a temporary space. 

We also had conversations with the kids to help prepare them for the fact that there are now homeless students, teachers, and staff. On the first day back, Mike took a gift card to a former teacher who lost her home. As far as we know, though, our schools were relatively lucky. The smaller school district to our north now has hundreds of homeless students.

 

Halloween happened in October, just like it does every year. The kids wanted to put up Halloween decorations the first weekend of the month. However, I hesitated. Our neighborhood had a good deal of damage. Most of the houses on our street need new roofs. During the storm our neighbor who lives two houses away kayaked down our street and discovered the water was waist high at the other end of our street. Needless to say, many houses also have extensive water damage, and I felt insensitive putting up frivolous decorations when others were going through such hardships. But once I noticed Halloween decorations peeking out from behind debris, the kids and I went ahead and decorated outside.  

I actually ended up with no pictures of our house, but can you spot our neighbors' decorations?

 

We warned the kids that trick-or-treating would probably be different this year and that it was okay if they didn't get the usual amount of candy, because they always get too much. And trick-or-treating was different as we had to navigate around roofers and piles of debris. However, people's generosity was amazing. On our street, there are still three displaced families who cannot return to their homes. One of them still put out a bowl of candy with a sign that said, "Please take two." The kids loved this - everyone says to take one. No one ever says to take two. Another displaced neighbor spent the evening staging work in his driveway so that he could hand out candy before heading inside to continue work on his home. About a third of the houses in our neighborhood were handing out candy, which is about half of the normal rate. But at nearly every house the kids went to, people were very generous, and the kids ended up coming home with at least as much candy as they collected in previous years. Despite what so many people are going through, it was as though there was a collective need to stop and make things, well, normal, at least for one night. And it felt good.

Hurricane Florence Update

I know I am long overdue for an update on our family's situation regarding Hurricane Florence, and this is my attempt to corral information into one location. 

We started monitoring the storm back on Wednesday, September 5, but it wasn't until we saw the forecast on Tuesday, September 11 that we decided to evacuate. On Tuesday morning the forecast was updated to include days of hurricane and tropical storm force winds, rather than hours, and the forecast for rain was updated and being measured in feet, not inches. That was not something we wanted the kids to experience. Thankfully, after living in Wilmington for nearly 11 years, we have learned to simultaneously prepare for riding out storms as well as evacuating, and we already had full tanks of gas in our cars and cash for evacuating. While I went to work on Tuesday morning, Jeff completed the outdoor yard prep for the storm. I arrived home from work around 12:40 and we quickly began preparing to leave. 

I am grateful to have responsible children. I simply told the kids "pack for vacation," and they took care of everything we would need while we were away while Jeff and I tackled the indoor storm prep. In addition to storm prep, I managed to eat lunch, wash dishes, pack for myself, and we were on the road by 3:30 in the afternoon. We set a goal of getting out of North Carolina before we stopped for the night, knowing the number of people evacuating would increase immensely on Wednesday.

I am grateful for technology. It was technology that helped us know the storm was coming and the severity, and it was also technology through Google Maps that helped us find back roads out of North Carolina while so many people were stuck creeping up I-40 and I-95. Technology also helped us find a pet friendly hotel in Virginia, through a combination of the hotels.com website and a wonderful customer service agent from hotels.com who located and booked a room for us while rooms were being booked so quickly you could watch them disappear from the website in real time.

I am grateful for my family. My immediate family who is safe, as well as my extended family. In the chaos of Tuesday, it wasn't until we were sitting in the parking lot of a sold out Red Roof Inn, packed with zombie parents trying to wrangle children and dogs after 10:00 at night, that we called family and asked if it was okay to arrive the following afternoon with two adults, four kids, and a 70 pound dog and stay indefinitely. Of course it was okay.

I am grateful to be staying in a city filled with plenty of activities for my family to enjoy. On Friday morning, we watched the footage as the eye of Hurricane Florence made landfall at Wrightsville Beach, our weekend hangout, located just a few miles from our house. We showed the kids the footage on TV of Jim Cantore getting knocked sideways as he stood in the middle of the road while the eye came through. The kids thought the location looked familiar, and we explained that it was near the Cape Fear River and was the place we had stood to eat ice cream from Kilwin's two weeks prior. The looks on their faces let us know that we were done watching hurricane footage with the kids around. It is one thing to watch the horrors of a far away city. It is another thing to watch your hometown get ravaged by nature on national TV. So we have been to the aquarium, the art museum, and many parks. We have visited with old friends and have made new friends. We know many of the kids' old friends have not been so lucky, either riding out the storm and listening to the wind and rain in the dark for days on end, or else stuck in hotel rooms in other parts of North Carolina where it was too rainy to get out and enjoy other activities.

I am grateful for friends and neighbors. On Saturday morning we were still wondering who we could ask to check on our house and the appropriate time to do so, when I received the following text from my next door neighbor:

 

That is the front of our house on Saturday morning, totally intact with the exception of the dead willow tree which needed to be removed anyway. We could tell from the picture that the three tallest trees in our backyard were also still intact. Our neighbor's adult son lives further back in our neighborhood, about a mile from our houses, and he took advantage of a break in the rain to sneak over and check on our houses. 

During the night on Saturday, the water began rising throughout our part of town due to the ceaseless rain. The same gentleman who had checked on our house on Saturday morning was rescued from his own house by the National Guard late Saturday or early Sunday. He still made time to go check on the houses again on Sunday, and sent this photo of our yard on Sunday morning. The dirt in our yard marks the water line from Saturday night's flooding. Water came higher than it ever had before, but it didn't reach the house. You can see the mulch in our flower bed still intact. He also knew we were worried about the back of our house, and took the time to peek over the fence (it was too wet to enter) to at least check for major holes in our roof. There weren't any. And people are truly amazing.

 

 

I am grateful to be on emergency leave from work. I am able to focus on my family without having to worry about lost wages, working all day from home, or using all of my vacation leave.

I am grateful for the media, both traditional media outlets, as well as social media. Although not a heavy social media user, it has proven invaluable in helping us connect with others as well as tracking the situation at home. Our friends and colleagues are currently echoing exactly what we are hearing from the media. Every interaction is the same. I am told, "DO NOT COME HOME." The message is clear. So for now, we are staying in Cincinnati. As the week progresses, we have determined our criteria for returning home. We need to have electricity (we believe it was restored to our house on Monday), roads need to open (as of Tuesday afternoon there is limited land access to Wilmington), and we need to have easy access to food and gas. Reports remain that the lines to enter grocery stores are long (a limited number of shoppers are allowed in at a time) and the lines for gas are longer. We are very tentatively planning to leave Cincinnati on Friday and arrive home on Saturday, although that is definitely subject to change. 

I am grateful to know so many people care about our family. Sometimes it is the most chaotic situations that help you realize how wonderful people truly are.

Before the Rain

This weekend has been hectic, and I am really grateful we spent Memorial Day weekend relaxing and enjoying life. I had originally planned to spend the long weekend taking care of a number of household projects that I haven't been able to get to in recent months. However, the forecast was for a great deal of rain all weekend, and we decided to take advantage of nice weather outdoors while we could before we were forced to head indoors.

UNCW is currently operating under summer hours where we have a condensed work week and the university closes at lunchtime on Friday. It's a fantastic schedule, and last weekend I was able to take advantage of it and leave early enough that I was able to pick up the kids from the bus after school. Shortly after everyone got home, we headed out to Lewis Farms where we managed to pick about eight pounds of fresh strawberries and blueberries. Most days that week had included both heavy rain and bright sunshine and although that made for slightly flooded fields, it also made for amazing berries. As we picked, Boss Lady was clearly in charge of the group.

 

Friday night we took the kids to their first "grown up" party. It was an engagement party for a friend from work, and I had no idea how it would go. I filled my purse with card games for the kids to play and I filled their ears with promises that we would not stay that long. I was apparently concerned for no reason, because it turns out all the kids need for a good time is "Alexa" and cupcakes. They ended up having a great time and making many new friends, all who are in their 40s and 50s, by sharing their love and knowledge of 80s music.

Nati has been bugging me to take her to the main library downtown. I am pretty sure she only wanted to go there to play with the toys in the children's area, but who am I to turn down a trip to a library? We headed there on Saturday morning, and we began our time there by exploring the small outdoor garden. It includes several stations where the kids can play music as well as a large outdoor checkers/chess set, and the kids enjoyed playing out there.

Oh, library humor!

 

Natalia did have fun playing inside the library, including putting together these flowers that even I would struggle to kill.

 

After the library, we ran errands and ate lunch. Saturday afternoon it was still nice, so we headed outside to play. Although they had no use for sidewalk chalk when they were itty bitties, the kids are now obsessed with it. We are the proud owners of a Crayola box of sidewalk chalk with 48 colors (there is even black chalk!), and the kids put it to good use.

 

Even after all these years, Jewel loves Abby Cadabby.

 

Saturday evening included grilled salmon and a fire in the fire pit in the back yard. 

 

I love that these guys are content to just sit and read by the fire. 

It was amazingly still nice on Sunday, and we ended up spending all afternoon swimming with friends at their pool party.

 

The rain finally arrived on Sunday night, and when it showed up, it did not mess around. It continued all day Monday, and at one point it was coming down so hard the kids stood on the porch and watched our neighbor's white van (waaay down the street. I wasn't leaving the porch in the rain) get covered up to its bumper in water. Thankfully, our neighborhood drains extremely well, and the street was clear again within an hour of the rain slowing down.

 

Last weekend was so enjoyable and a great reminder that life is too short not to make time to kick back and just enjoy time with family and friends.

Weekends

Lately, I have been very intentional with my time. I would like to think this is part of an effort to be more mindful, or at least more organized, but in reality, it is just about survival. If I don't focus on everything I do and the reason I do it, I would spend all of my time running around like a chicken with its head cutoff. (As it is, I probably spend at least half my time that way, but at least it isn't all my time.)

This morning I carved out 45 minutes to spend writing before the kids got up, and I really enjoyed that time. Technology can actually be amazing, and I spent that time laying in bed, drafting a blog post on my phone. Of course, as soon as a certain youngest child skipped into the room at 7am exactly, she grabbed my phone, and everything I had been working on is now permanently "saving" and cannot be opened. So I am starting over with writing this. 

As I look at how I spend my time, I have been more intentional about carving out time to write and spend in the kitchen, because both things make me deliriously happy. (Even when they don't go as planned, they still tend to soothe me. I admit to having been a bit annoyed that this morning's writing disappeared, just like I was less than thrilled when I had an epic baking disaster last Wednesday night, but at the same time, it means I get to spend more time writing and baking as I do those things over. And I am generally okay with that.)

When it comes to weekends, my weekends must include three things. I am happiest when my weekends include time outside, time with my family, and time in my kitchen. (Writing is just a bonus.) Thankfully, the stars have aligned, and I have had plenty of time for all three elements the past two weekends.

Warmer weather means naturally getting more time outside, usually with the family. Overall, it's been a cool spring here (like it has been so many other places), and we've only made one trip to the beach so far. It was only in the upper 60s while we were out there, but that didn't stop the kids from finding a tidal pool and immediately jumping in. Personally, I kept my distance from the chilly water!

 
 

It's also that time of year when most of our weekends begin with berry picking. Currently, strawberries are in season, although there are already little green berries on the blueberry bushes around here. The kids have no idea how lucky we are!

 

Often, we spend our weekend afternoons just hanging out in our yard.

 

The kids have clearly surpassed my ability to draw with sidewalk chalk. (I am basically limited to hearts, stars, and rainbows.)

 

Sometimes, our family time involves indoor activities. Last Sunday it was a little chilly, but Jewel brought home passes to Cameron Art Museum the week before, and it seemed like we were just destined to go. We had never been before, and it wasn't until we were walking around that I marveled that we had not only considered taking our children to an art museum, but that we were there for at least 15 minutes before it occurred to me that allowing four children to wander around a building full of fragile items might not be the greatest idea ever. Thankfully, they did well and seemed to actually enjoy a lot of it. They only stumbled upon one piece intended "for mature audiences only" (at least that I am aware of), and they enjoyed finding this interactive sculpture of a camper that they could climb in. As soon as he sat down, Mike channeled "Magical Mystery Tour" and announced, "If you look to your left, ladies and gentlemen, the view is not very inspiring. Ah, but if you look to your right…"

 

When my weekends are like this, and I get to do the things I enjoy, on Sunday nights I can relax and get ready for the week ahead. And that is a good thing.

Spring Break

For six school years now, we have been spoiled with a year round school schedule, meaning our kids go to school for nine weeks and then get three weeks off all year. I cannot say enough good things about this schedule. It is better for the kids, the teachers, and at least for this set of parents. It is so nice to have that time off to recharge. We've also gotten very spoiled and used to traveling when most other kids are in school. Sadly, with Oldest Child heading off to middle school in August (yikes!) our days of this schedule are coming to an end since the middle school follows a traditional school calendar. Having kids on different school calendars comes with a different set of benefits, like more individual time with them and fewer lunches to pack on a single day, but I will really miss this schedule.

The kids are finishing up their three weeks of spring break. I had it all planned that I would take off a week over spring break so we could travel a little and catch up on things at home. And as we've done before, I wanted the week off to coincide with a time when most kids were in school. But then, without going into detail, life happened, and taking off a week was definitely not an option. Thankfully, I was able to take three days off from work and time it so it made Easter weekend six days long. The shorter schedule definitely prevented me from being able to catch up at home, but it did allow plenty of time for family fun.

Our break began with a trip to Defy Gravity, an indoor trampoline park. We received a gift card for Christmas  (thanks Grandpa Gene and Gran!) and it was our first chance to go. Everyone had fun, and we escaped with no serious injuries. (I'm not generally a worrier about these things, but ever since I heard business for the local orthopedic practice quintupled since the place opened, I am a little nervous.)

 

Next, we got ready for Easter. The kids love reading my Parents magazine, and this year they found a project for dying Easter eggs by covering a cookie sheet in shaving cream, swirling food coloring in the shaving cream, and letting the eggs sit in the mixture.We were not wowed by the process, but we didn't hate it either, and the kids loved experimenting with a new craft technique.

 

Easter morning we headed to Airlie Gardens. I know this is azalea season in southeast North Carolina, but I loved these tulips. 

 

And, yes, the azaleas were pretty darn spectacular.

 

The day after Easter, we headed off for a different sort of trip. Jeff and his best friend had been able to get tickets to go see a practice round of the Masters Tournament, and the kids and I tagged along. We actually stayed in Columbia, South Carolina which is about an hour from the tournament in Augusta, Georgia. While the guys were off watching golf, the kids and I headed to Riverbanks Zoo and Garden. We went on a gorgeous day during spring break week for local schools, and it was packed. It made us incredibly grateful that we had been able to go to Florida last fall in late September/early October, because the lines at the zoo were longer than any lines we experienced at Legoland or the Disney parks. Still, we had a pretty good time and we each consumed roughly our body weight in Icees. Mike loves turtles and Leon loves penguins, and both were thrilled to find multiple species of their favorite animals in real form as well as represented in statues and painted rocks.

 

Mike also found this brick at the zoo with his name on it! 

 

Because it had been so hot, after the zoo we went for a long swim at the hotel before heading to dinner. Dinner was nothing fancy, but the kids loved it. We had also received a gift card for Panera (gift cards for experiences are definitely our favorite presents!) that had been burning a hole in my wallet, and the kids were very excited to finally use it. We had planned to go swimming again after dinner, but between seven hours at the zoo and the pre-dinner swim, the kids were pretty zombie-fied, so we spent the evening just relaxing in the hotel room watching Chopped. While watching one of their favorite shows, the kids finally really relaxed, and it kinda felt perfect. Like a real break before life got insane again. Like a spring break.