Where does the time go?

I started writing this before I returned to work, but, of course, did not have time to finish it. Though things are slightly different now, I thought I'd share.




Before we had kids, I was pretty on top of things. I was a busy, productive person. But then we added R into the mix, and things changed. My perceived productivity crawled to a halt. Suddenly doing something as simple as meeting a friend for a casual dinner became a major event. I had to break down the event into its components - showering, getting dressed, feeding R, packing all her gear, staying awake - and it often turned out that we just wouldn't be able to make that dinner.

I assumed twins would be a lot of work, but I thought I would still be able to find time in my day to do some simple things. I was wrong. One day my goals were to give the boys baths and take a walk. The boys' baths take about 5 minutes a piece, so I budgeted 30 minutes of my day for this. I planned on walking for 30 minutes, so I budgeted an hour for this. Somehow, I never found that 90 minutes.

And so, instead of beating my head against the wall (which would just have given me a headache and make me wonder where the heck the Tylenol was and if I had time to look for it) I decided to try to determine where all my time went. Here's what I discovered.

Food
Feeding the boys takes most of my day. At night we make it a point to feed the boys back-to-back. Since Michael won't regularly eat from the breast, I also pump milk for him. No matter what I do, a meal seems to take an hour and fifteen minutes even if Jeff helps or if I feed the boys simultaneously. The boys eat about 8 times a day. So, time spent on feeding the boys is:

8 feedings/day X 1.25 hours/feeding = 10 hours/day

The rest of us have to eat too. R is very social when she eats and between chatting, playing with her food, and eating her own weight in food at least once a day, her meals generally take 30 - 45 minutes a piece. Between feeding R three meals and a snack, cooking, and cleaning the kitchen, I'd say additional food time is:

3 hours/day

Sleep
The boys sleep a lot. R sleeps a fair amount. The dogs sleep because we don't do anything with them. Jeff and I, however, do not sleep much. At night we seem to always get to bed around 11:30, and we are up for the day by 7:30 a.m. The boys get up once or twice in between to eat. Given that feedings last 1.25 hours, this means that we sleep:

5.5 hours/day

We try for naps, and there is generally one fifteen minute period a day in which all three kids are asleep. There is also a significant amount of time devoted each day to laying around pretending the kids are asleep. So I would say napping/denial times is:

1.5 hours/day

Bathing
R gets a bath every night. The boys get baths every three days. Maybe. I was only showering every other day, but I learned that the shower is a great place to hide, so I started taking a daily showers. R's bath time includes bathing, time for her to run around the house naked before her bath, time for her to run around the house naked after her bath, and time for her to run around the house when she is supposed to be putting her clothes in the hamper. My showers basically just involve hiding in the shower until we run out of hot water, Jeff demands I actually help with the kids, or the babies scream enough that my breasts demand I feed them. I also attempt to dry off and clothe myself afterward. (Sometimes I am successful, sometimes I am not.) I'll throw in the time I spend brushing my teeth, washing my face, etc., too. Bath times per person:

R = 1 hour/day
Me = 1 hour/day

Other
Picking up R's toys before her nap and before bed = 30 minutes/day
Reading books in the morning, before R's nap, and before she goes to bed = 1 hour/day
General picking up around the house = 30 minutes/day
Laundry = 30 minutes/day

So, if you add it up, that totals roughly 24.5 hours per day. Which makes it easier to see why there wasn't an extra 30 minutes for baths or 60 minutes for a walk! And, yes, Jeff does help, but there are so many things I didn't include like taking care of the dogs, grocery shopping, etc. Who says staying at home isn't a full-time job???? I've got some laundry for them to fold...