No longer MIA

I'd like to have a great reason for not writing anything for the past two weeks.  I'd like to say that it's because my parents came to visit or because Michael ran a 103-degree fever all last week.  And both are true, but they really weren't why I didn't write.  I'd like to say it's because we've been busy enjoying the spring and are spending time each day running around in the backyard, which is also true.  But again, this isn't why I haven't been writing.

The truth is, I just haven't been able to get myself organized.  It's been so weird.  Normally, I am on top of things.  When asked at interviews about my greatest strengths, organization and time management popped up at the top of the list.  But these days, not so much.

Which leads me to wonder what the heck happened.  If anything, I should've had more time than ever to write.  I did not work a full week in the past four weeks.  The first week doesn't really count.  We had that stomach bug from hell, and I stayed home from work on Monday, Tuesday, and half of Wednesday.  The following week, I just worked half a day from home on Monday since I had the flu and Michael had all those new teeth.  Realizing how run down I was, I worked another half day from home on Friday. 

Three day weeks are nice.  So nice that I decided to only work three days the following week.  I had been planning on saving vacation, but my parents were coming in town, and with our crew, it takes an entire day to accomplish anything, including cleaning the house.  So I took off a day so that Jeff and I can clean the house and he could do some much-needed yard work.  (And one of the reasons I love my husband so?  He did almost all of the cleaning while I took care of the kids.  Ahh.  Some days I know I married the right guy!)  

My parents arrived late that afternoon, and then I had a real three day weekend to play.  It was wonderful. I think everyone had a fabulous time.  It was definitely our best visit with guests since the boys have been born.  We managed to squeeze in everything that everyone wanted to do.  We went to the beach, swimming at the indoor pool at my parents' hotel, and shopping.  My parents took off on their own and got to take care of some things they wanted to do.  Jeff and I even got to have a date.  Part of the reason we did so much was that we were constantly shuffling schedules around naps.  That resulted in us going out on a date at 9:30 a.m. on a Saturday, but hey, WE GOT TO GO ON A DATE!  Perhaps I used up all my time management skills for the month that weekend.  They were working overtime.

I certainly can't blame my disorganization on a lack of sleep, at least not for the usual reason.  Leon has been sleeping through the night.  Yes.  Really.  LEON IS SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT.  Crazy stuff.  I think it's because of the amount of time he spends outside.  Both boys love outside.  Leon defines any excursion outside our house as "bye bye," and he regularly beats on both the front and back doors asking "bye bye?"  If he really wants to turn on the charm, he'll thrown in his version of "please" which sounds like "peez" and his fake smile.  His fake smile is hilarious.  It's really hard to say no to a little guy begging, "bye bye, PEEEEEEZ???" and grinning like a mad man.

When he gets outside, he runs and runs and runs.  On Saturday, the first time we went outside, he ran in circles for 10 minutes screaming, "eeeeEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEE," the whole time.  He was one happy little dude.  When he comes in, he eats and eats and eats.  And then he sleeps well.  It's great.  And, yes, I realized I have completely jinxed his sleeping.  But it's been great while it lasted.  And at least we know he is capable of sleeping.  And development.  Since he started sleeping, his vocabulary and social interaction skills have just exploded.

But since Leon is turning into a functioning human being, that means it's time for Michael to fall apart.  He just hasn't been right lately.  He really did have that nasty fever all week.  He also got five new teeth to go with it.  What we'll never what was really wrong.  The poor little guy may have had the flu too, which would explain why he had to be held 24 hours a day for four or five days.  Jeff held him all day.  We would take turns holding him from the time I got home from work until bedtime.  The one not holding him would be running around like mad trying to take care of Ree, Leon, Pru, and Max and at least meeting their basic needs.  Then I would do most of the holding at night.  That was crazy.  I'm blaming that on my inability to get organized last week.  We were only sleeping three to four hours a day night in short bursts.  That wore me down.  Whew.

But then we had a fabulous weekend.  Michael still didn't feel great, but he wasn't horrible either, and we had a lot of fun.  Maybe my brain was just on strike. 

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Where does the time go?

I started writing this before I returned to work, but, of course, did not have time to finish it. Though things are slightly different now, I thought I'd share.




Before we had kids, I was pretty on top of things. I was a busy, productive person. But then we added R into the mix, and things changed. My perceived productivity crawled to a halt. Suddenly doing something as simple as meeting a friend for a casual dinner became a major event. I had to break down the event into its components - showering, getting dressed, feeding R, packing all her gear, staying awake - and it often turned out that we just wouldn't be able to make that dinner.

I assumed twins would be a lot of work, but I thought I would still be able to find time in my day to do some simple things. I was wrong. One day my goals were to give the boys baths and take a walk. The boys' baths take about 5 minutes a piece, so I budgeted 30 minutes of my day for this. I planned on walking for 30 minutes, so I budgeted an hour for this. Somehow, I never found that 90 minutes.

And so, instead of beating my head against the wall (which would just have given me a headache and make me wonder where the heck the Tylenol was and if I had time to look for it) I decided to try to determine where all my time went. Here's what I discovered.

Food
Feeding the boys takes most of my day. At night we make it a point to feed the boys back-to-back. Since Michael won't regularly eat from the breast, I also pump milk for him. No matter what I do, a meal seems to take an hour and fifteen minutes even if Jeff helps or if I feed the boys simultaneously. The boys eat about 8 times a day. So, time spent on feeding the boys is:

8 feedings/day X 1.25 hours/feeding = 10 hours/day

The rest of us have to eat too. R is very social when she eats and between chatting, playing with her food, and eating her own weight in food at least once a day, her meals generally take 30 - 45 minutes a piece. Between feeding R three meals and a snack, cooking, and cleaning the kitchen, I'd say additional food time is:

3 hours/day

Sleep
The boys sleep a lot. R sleeps a fair amount. The dogs sleep because we don't do anything with them. Jeff and I, however, do not sleep much. At night we seem to always get to bed around 11:30, and we are up for the day by 7:30 a.m. The boys get up once or twice in between to eat. Given that feedings last 1.25 hours, this means that we sleep:

5.5 hours/day

We try for naps, and there is generally one fifteen minute period a day in which all three kids are asleep. There is also a significant amount of time devoted each day to laying around pretending the kids are asleep. So I would say napping/denial times is:

1.5 hours/day

Bathing
R gets a bath every night. The boys get baths every three days. Maybe. I was only showering every other day, but I learned that the shower is a great place to hide, so I started taking a daily showers. R's bath time includes bathing, time for her to run around the house naked before her bath, time for her to run around the house naked after her bath, and time for her to run around the house when she is supposed to be putting her clothes in the hamper. My showers basically just involve hiding in the shower until we run out of hot water, Jeff demands I actually help with the kids, or the babies scream enough that my breasts demand I feed them. I also attempt to dry off and clothe myself afterward. (Sometimes I am successful, sometimes I am not.) I'll throw in the time I spend brushing my teeth, washing my face, etc., too. Bath times per person:

R = 1 hour/day
Me = 1 hour/day

Other
Picking up R's toys before her nap and before bed = 30 minutes/day
Reading books in the morning, before R's nap, and before she goes to bed = 1 hour/day
General picking up around the house = 30 minutes/day
Laundry = 30 minutes/day

So, if you add it up, that totals roughly 24.5 hours per day. Which makes it easier to see why there wasn't an extra 30 minutes for baths or 60 minutes for a walk! And, yes, Jeff does help, but there are so many things I didn't include like taking care of the dogs, grocery shopping, etc. Who says staying at home isn't a full-time job???? I've got some laundry for them to fold...