The Birth Story(ies)

Twins typically get stuck sharing everything from Legos to bedrooms to their parents' attention. And they almost certainly share a birth story. But knowing how things in my life are always, um, different, it is only fitting that my twins each have their own birth story.

The Birth of Percy
(Yes, we did give them new names, but the old ones will work for now.)
I woke up at 5:45 on Saturday morning having the hideous kind of lower back pain that is only associated with being in labor. I wasn't having any abdominal pain, so I decided to just monitor it. Over the next half hour, I continued to feel contractions at irregular intervals as back pain.

At 6:15 Jeff's alarm went off, as he was planning on spending the weekend coaching his team in a soccer tournament. When he got up, I told him I was "feeling weird," and he raised both eyebrows, but I told him to go ahead and shower.

Less than 5 minutes later, I started feeling another kind of weird that I can't explain, so I called my parents who were thankfully in town and staying just a few minutes away. I told them that I wasn't in labor, but I thought something was going on, and I asked that they come over so that I wouldn't be alone with R when Jeff left at 7:00 since I knew I was in no condition to care for her.

Around 6:30, while waiting for my parents to arrive, my water broke. I went into the bathroom where Jeff was still showering and calmly told Jeff him he wouldn't be coaching that morning. I then called my doctor's office and finished packing for the hospital. When Jeff got out of the shower, he too began packing his stuff, and in hindsight I can't realize how calm we were knowing that our babies would most likely be born that day.

My parents arrived around 6:40, the dogs went nuts, and we got R up to tell her goodbye. Suddenly, I felt my body progressing really, really quickly, and as we walked out the door I could feel Percy descending through the ol' birth canal. I instinctively crawled into the backseat of the car, and my last words to Jeff as I laid on the seat, clutching it in a death grip were, "Get me there safely."

And we were off. Like a seasoned NASCAR driver, Jeff took off at 65 mph driving through city streets while I laid in the back watching landmarks seemingly crawl by. Jeff tried to talk to me, but I was concentrating so hard on my mantra "I'm not pushing," that I was unable to respond. When we were about half way there, the doctor on duty returned my page. In the middle of a monster contraction I managed to tell him that my water had broken and I was finding it very hard not to push. He then calmly asked me if this was my first baby. I told him no. He then not-so-calmly asked how far away we were. I was completely oblivious to my surroundings, but I managed to relay Jeff's "10 minutes," to the doctor. My last words to the doc were, "I don't think I can get out of the car by myself," and after some reassurance from him about there being help, I hung up the phone.

As we continued to speed along, I suddenly felt Percy crowning, and Jeff said that I did manage to shout, "He coming!" I reached down to take off my pants, and that's when Percy just kinda shot out of me. He came all at once, and I instinctively picked him up and wrapped him in my cardigan. He began to cry, even before I was able to clean out his nose and mouth. He actually barely cried, which scared me since Ree came out screaming in a nice, relatively warm hospital room, and this poor little guy was naked and wet in 26 degrees, but Percy was too busy looking around and holding my finger to make much noise.

At some point Jeff glanced over his shoulder and saw our new little man, and about three minutes after his birth at 7:08 a.m. we arrived at the hospital. We pulled up to the door at the hospital, and Jeff went inside for help. Seemingly seconds later, my doctor opened the door to the car and I saw a sea of medical professionals. My doc reached into the backseat and cut the cord, and then a horde of nurses whisked little Percy inside.

I suppose this is about the point where Stinkpot's birth story begins...

The Birth of Stinkpot
Knowing that twins are typically born minutes apart, the remaining members of the gigantic medical crew frantically tried to get me out of my pants, out of the car, and into the hospital. Yes, things happened in that order, and as I sat in a wheelchair wearing just my t-shirt, sweater, and a pair of clogs, I realized it was really, really cold out. I asked for a blanket, and in the chaos, someone ran inside, grabbed a blanket, then ran back out with one for me. Not the most efficient method, but at least I was no longer naked from the waist down (aside from the clogs).

It was my turn to be whisked inside, and they ran me to the closest staff elevator, took me up to labor and delivery, and all but launched me on a bed in the first available room. Nurses simultaneously took off my clothes, inserted an IV, and threw a gown over me. Someone then asked for the position of Twin B, which the doctor couldn't tell from an external exam. Suddenly I was on my back, the doctor was doing an ultrasound, and he announced, "Vertex." After spending so many months lying across my belly in a transverse position, little Stinkpot was head down. A collective "Woohoo!" was heard throughout the room, with me being the loudest. I still had a chance of delivering twins without a c-section.

Jeff soon arrived with a nurse, and I began shaking violently. The shakes were a nasty combination of the usual post-birth shakes and strong contractions starting again. By this time Percy was all clean and cute and swaddled, so they brought him to me for some cuddle time. Not only was it good for me mentally, but they thought it would definitely help my hormones surge so that his brother would quickly arrive on the scene. I definitely enjoyed cuddling, and a nurse took some family photos with her camera since we had forgotten ours in the crazy dash out the door.

And then things slowed waaaaaaay down. I was still shaking, but I had a strong feeling Stinkpot wouldn't be arriving any time soon. I could actually feel him stretching and playing between my contractions. The little guy was so excited to have so much room. I could just sense him thinking, "This is what I'm talking about!"

Since things had ground to a halt, the doctor who cut Percy's cord decided to head home at 8:00 a.m., the time he was scheduled to leave. He filled in the new doc, who turned out to be a wonderfully patient man.

Knowing that Stinkpot was not going anywhere, I inquired around 8:30 or so if I could have an epidural, figuring there was no chance. As it turns out, I was making no further progress, and my wish was granted. As much as I hate unnecessary drugs, it was lovely, and I actually just zoned out for quite awhile in a nice, relaxed state, the shaking finally gone.

Around 9:30 or 10:00, when I had still made no progress, Doc B said it was probably time to give me Pitocin. He wanted to try inducing labor (again) by that route to prevent the boys being born TOO far apart. Some doctors, including several in my practice, insist that twins be born within an hour of each other. I knew I was already on borrowed time, and I was still hoping to avoid a c-section, so I graciously accepted the Pitocin.

They started Pitocin and still we were waiting and waiting and waiting. Finally, around 11:15, things started kicking in, and life started getting pretty painful, despite the epidural. After about half an hour, as things got worse, the nurses encouraged me to go ahead and start pushing, which I did. Stinkpot's bag of waters still hadn't broken, and each time I pushed, I could feel it painfully pressing on the birth canal. Finally the doctor was called in, they checked Stinkpot's position, and they decided it was time for me to push. (The nurses and I didn't let on to our little secret about me having already pushed for quite awhile.) The doctor also decided to manually break Stinkpot's bag of water. It sprayed ALL over him. He was drenched. Even the resident with him had to cover her mouth to avoid laughing out loud.

After that, it didn't take too terribly long for Stinkpot to make his entrance into the world. He finally emerged at 12:16 p.m. during the Ohio State - Michigan game. Unlike his brother, Stinkpot came out screaming, and we knew immediately he at least had some nice, healthy lungs.

After a little cuddling, he too was whisked away, and we sat back and stared at the TV, still in disbelief that we were suddenly the parents of three children.