Fiesta, Fiesta

We've recently started doing rounds of the birthday party circuit.  I thought we were the only freaks with a three-year-old who had never been to a birthday party, but at the first party we attended, another shell-shocked parent confirmed her family was in the same boat.  She and I actually bonded a lot at that party because, well, birthday parties are not the events we remember.

The first party we attended was for a little girl in Ree's preschool class who was turning three, and it was just an odd experience.  It was at Chuck E. Cheese, and it turns out our Chuck E. Cheese has very few activities for the preschool crowd.  Apparently, the days of the giant ball pit are over.  Keeping Ree entertained was a chore, which just seems silly.  The kids spent no time together, all running off in different directions with their families.  And it was a family event.  Although I took Ree by myself, I was the only single parent.  Everyone else arrived with their entire family for the party.  As though Chuck E. Cheese as the theme wasn't enough, the mom had gone overboard with a Little Mermaid theme, and had brought her own table cloths, balloons, and decorations.  The party favors were crazy.  The mom had beach pails professionally personalized and filled them with beach and Little Mermaid gear.  The party started at 2:00, and we were on time figuring the party would be pretty structured.  We actually arrived just before the birthday girl and her family, who had all that setting up to do.  Given that they weren't set up and no other guests arrived until almost 2:30, I thought we had the wrong time, and I apologized profusely to the little girl's grandparents.  Nope, turns out everyone else was just late.  Because Chuck E. Cheese still booted everyone out of the birthday area at 3:30, this resulted in the birthday girl not opening presents.  Ree was sad about this.  But she was even more sad by the fact that we lost one of the lollipops from her beach pail.  Yes, that was her take away from this party.  We lost the lollipop.

But I learned from this party.  For everyone one child you invite, expect four guests.  Don't expect people to show up on time.  And never lose the lollipop!

The next party, also for a little girl in Ree's preschool class, was a little more traditional.  A little more.  It was a pool party at her house, and the parents had set up a slew of kiddie pools and slip-and-slides in their backyard.  The food was kid-friendly trays from Chick-Fil-A and a friend had made the birthday cake and some extra cupcakes.  However, invites still went out to their 60 closest friends via Evite, and given the size of the party, they tactfully requested no gifts.  (Ree was initially disappointed that we did not get to shop for a present.)  When I arrived, I was told where the keg was for the parents, and the kids were all sent outside to go crazy in the water.  I sat with the other parents for awhile, but poor Ree was dying out in the yard.  Ree likes structure and organized activities and knowing what's going on, and running around jumping in and out of pools was not her style.  She wouldn't even try to interact with the other kids.  She and I ended up hanging out on the deck for awhile, and the birthday girl actually ended up joining us.  She was a little overwhelmed too.  The girls ate dinner with me, and I did the best I could to distract them from the parents' neighbors who were doing shots of Jack in the kitchen.  After dinner and the shots, it was time for birthday cake.  Ree dutifully ran up for a slice along with the other kids, but in the mayhem, the lady handing out cake never looked down and saw her.  She kept passing slices over Ree's head to the kids behind her in line.  I intervened, got a dirty look, and Ree and I found a quiet spot on the play room to eat.  Then she and I quietly snuck off.  This party had not been our scene.

I'm not sure what I learned from this party.  It mostly made me sad because Ree had no fun and I never saw her playing with any other kids.  I was starting to really worry about her.

Then, last weekend, we went to a party for a coworker's son who was turning one.  This party at least made sense to me.  It was mostly adults, but the party was for a twelve-month-old whose parents work alternating schedules to keep him out of childcare.  The birthday boy doesn't exactly have a wide social network.  The mom bought party hats and blowers for the kids who were in attendance, and the party was held at a park in a shelter that was next to a playground and a baseball field.  The food was simple - burgers, hotdogs, chips, fruit, and pasta salad.  Dessert was a big, ooey-gooey cake from Costco.  Ree not only got to shop for a birthday present, she got to help open presents.  The mom put Ree and another four-year-old girl in charge of bringing her the gifts and ripping them open.  And Ree and this little girl bonded.  They had SO much fun together.  They ran around on the playground together, then they ate dinner together, then they practiced ballet on the baseball fields together.  We ended up staying an hour and a half longer than planned and only left because Michael was teething and miserable.  (The whole family did go to this party.)  We had a really good time.

The four-year-old girl had a brother who was nine, and he pretty much summed up my thoughts on birthday parties.  He said, "This party is okay, but I like parties with games."  Yeah, me too.