Reality Check

I had forgotten how portable newborns are.  All they really need are extra diapers, a change of clothes, and mom, and they are good to go.  As a result, we have been taking Natalia out quite a bit.  I know there are those who would object to carting a newborn around in public, particularly during cold and flu season, but it's not like we're asking strangers to cough on her.  And let's face it - our house has a preschooler, two toddlers, and two dogs, and I don't get around to cleaning too often.  There is a good chance that Target is the most sterile environment she sees on a regular basis.

A couple of the outing have included dates for Jeff and me.  It may lack a certain romantic element when you accessorize with a diaper bag and choose your outfit based on what shows the least spit up, but it is always nice to get out without having to constantly pass crayons and cut up bites of food for the older siblings.  The week after Natalia was born, Jeff, Natalia, and I went out to dinner then we spent the night at my parents' apartment in town while my parents stayed at the house with the big kids and dogs.  That was a nice little getaway.  Last week the three of us went out to lunch and took Natalia to her two-week checkup at the pediatrician.  As an added bonus, for that outing I wore REAL clothes. 

That may not mean much to a lot of people, but women who have given birth probably understand the amazing feeling of putting on non-maternity clothes postpartum.  It is a momentous achievement to put on pants without elastic and a shirt not entirely shaped like a tent.  Now I'm not claiming I actually looked GOOD in my clothes for our date.  The pants were low-rise and still showed a bit, well, a lot, of muffin top, and the shirt hugged the, um, curves of my belly.  But given the size I was a few weeks ago, wearing an outfit where people would just wonder if I was preggers or really liked beer seemed to be a huge step in the right direction.

Thanks to an enormous surge in oxytocin and other happy chemicals released when breastfeeding, my general acceptance of my body has continued.  The weather has been warm and sunny the past few days, and yesterday I put on a regular pair of yoga pants and took Natalia for a walk.  As we were walking it occurred to me that I was within a couple of pounds of my highest weight in college.  As the runner's high kicked in (there are benefits to being out of shape - euphoria from just walking!), I started to feel all optimistic about the weight all coming off someday and was totally starting to love my body.  There are upsides to the postpartum hormonal rollercoaster.  But there is nothing like a preschooler to insert a little dose of reality into every situation.

Last night Ree was joking around, looked at my shirt, and said, "Hi, baby in the belly!"  I told her she was silly, pointed to her sister sitting across the room, and said the baby was out and that's why my belly wasn't big anymore.  Ree lifted my shirt, quickly studied my skin and said, "Mom, your belly is still big."  Doh!